Obsession

One has to wonder just what leads potential adoptive couples to fight so hard to keep a child they're not entitled to keep.  Usually, by the time a case makes national headlines - if it makes headlines at all - it's years after the fact and a ruling comes down that may or may not go against the status quo.  By the time most people heard about Veronica Brown, she was two years old and being transferred to the custody of her father.  By the time most learned of Terry Achane, it was when a judge ordered his daughter's immediate return to his custody.  By the time the world learned about Sonya, she was a nine year old little girl who'd just learned that her foster parents were not her biological parents and she was abruptly being transferred to the physical custody of her father.

Obsession is a strong word.  When most hear it, they probably picture those who are obsessed with a particular celebrity or perhaps even a film/television franchise.  The last thing people picture when hearing the word obsession is that of foster parents or potential adoptive parents fighting for the right to claim a child as their own and the lengths they (and their supporters) go to gain public approval and sympathy.  In most cases, it's usually potential adoptive parents fighting to adopt a child that is not technically available for adoption.  The Capobiancos are the best example of obsession when it comes to private adoption.  They fought Veronica Brown's Daddy for four years and even though they'd not had custody of her the last 2 yrs of her 4 yr life, a court forced adoption onto her and demanded her father turn her over.  

Her case, which is now publicly known as Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl, opened the floodgates for other potential adopters to try and circumvent the federal law that was put in place to protect Native American children.  There are two cases currently happening in which foster parents are trying to use the "existing Indian family" argument to win against biological family.  Remember, the United State Supreme Court ruled that since there'd been no "existing Indian family" to break up, ICWA did not apply to Dusten and his daughter.  This is what obsession accomplished.  It destroyed a little girl and her family.  It allowed two entitled strangers to fight a father for four years and take his daughter away from him.  It gave an opening for other entitled wanna be parents to fight for the right to raise a child they shouldn't have any rights to.

Another clear cut case of obsession is the battle over Sonya McCaul, the now 10 yr old little girl who has been part of a 9 yr tug of war between her former foster parents, Dave and Kim Hodgin, and her family.  This tug of war is spanning between two states and a lot of red tape, but the law is pretty clear on the matter and that is: her family has more rights than the failed foster parents.  This case is honestly a bit of a mess, most of it created by the foster parents themselves.  There are legitimate questions about how they came to acquire Sonya and then the 8 yr battle to try and hold onto possession of her.  I'm sure eventually those questions will be answered and some heads will roll.  Either the Hodgin's or whomever in DCS allowed them to push this for as long and as hard as they did.

Sonya has been with her father and family now for nearly a year.  She has spoken through her GAL on several occasions, stating that she wants to remain with her father and family.  The Hodgins and their supporters have been crying foul, claiming she's been brainwashed, claiming the GAL is incompetent, etc.  They're not hearing what they want to hear and that has them furious as hell.  They want the public to believe she's miserable, wallowing in dire poverty, waiting and wishing for her "loving parents" to come and rescue her.  It has made them absolutely enraged that the opposite has been reported time and time again.  

Dave and Kim Hodgin have made it clear they will never stop trying to reclaim her.  Their obsession over another man's child is troubling.  So much like the Capobiancos and their quest to kidnap Veronica.  The only difference at this point is that Tennessee DCS holds the cards on actual custody and the power to determine where she is placed.  As long as DCS says she stays with Dad, she stays with Dad no matter what.  The two judges who've been involved with this cluster-fudge of a case have made it clear that DCS controls placement of the child and she's not moving any time soon.  They've thrown out several petitions the Hodgins have filed in an effort to try to terminate McCaul's parental rights and forcefully adopt Sonya.  The judge handling the TPR/adoption petitions has said that he will no longer entertain the petitions or litigate the TPR/adoption matter.  

And yet the Hodgins carry on, refusing to believe their eyes and ears.  The courts have made it clear she will never go back to them.  The child herself has spoken through her court appointed representatives and has stated she never wants to go back to them.  But they continue on, convinced they can drag the child back kicking and screaming if they must.  Their supporters spread lies and misinformation about the case.  Some even suggest criminal acts to get the child back.  They hold onto the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) as proof DCS violated federal laws in regards to permanency, failing to acknowledge the finer print that gives exemptions to the act.  One of those exemptions is when the goal of reunification stays in place.  If reunification is on the table, the 15/22 month rule that allows states to TPR parents does not apply.  

I do question the competency of DCS in the beginning.  One can only speculate as to why the child wasn't returned to Nebraska when it was discovered she was not a resident of Tennessee or when it was discovered there was an existing Nebraska custody order that gave her Dad custody.  But one thing is certain, the Hodgins knew she was not available for adoption and yet pushed to try and adopt her anyway.  They and their supporters continuous try to push ASFA as a way to justify why she should have been adopted.  They attempted to adopt her several times, only succeeding in the adoption briefly before it was vacated.  Every other time, a judge threw the petition out.  It's also been discovered that they attempted to adopt her a mere few months after DCS originally placed her with them, violating the contract they signed as foster parents.  I think that original action alone showed they had zero interest in being a legitimate foster home.  I won't say what my beliefs are in how this started and how they got her, only because it is merely speculation, but one thing is certain.....something smelled fishy as hell in the beginning and the smell was (and still is) coming from the Hodgins and their circle. 

It's quite obvious they have allowed their obsession to cloud their judgment and the reality of the situation.  They did every dirty trick in the book to maintain possession of her in an attempt to claim "only home she's ever known".  They lied to her about who she was (she believed she was their biological child up until about two years ago), then lied to her about her family, saying the family abandoned her and didn't want her while fighting her family behind her back.  They filed motion after motion in the courts to tie things up and allow more time to pass.  Thwarted any and all efforts to introduce her back to her family.  So obsessed with claiming Sonya as theirs, they now ignore the what the child wants herself and that is to remain with her father and family.

I will admit, it boggles the mind that they have continued this crusade when there is so much stacked against them, both legally and even at a moral level.  Nearly everyone involved has made it plainly clear to them that they've brought this onto themselves and they will never EVER have the child back in their home again.  So why continue?  DCS won't give her to them and so far, no judge will even consider giving her to them.  Has their obsession shifted to something darker?  A if we can't have her, nobody can have her line of thinking?  It certainly appears that way.  Determined now to simply destroy the family by any means necessary because Sonya's Dad refused to roll over.

I should remind readers that Jessica Munday and Trio Solutions are still encouraging this battle.  Their presence is not as obvious as it once was, but mostly because I think they realize they will not win this like they did with Veronica.  Veronica's Dad caved when his state courts refused to stand up to the corrupt South Carolina courts.  Sonya's Dad isn't backing down and isn't giving up.  And he has the backing of dependency laws and DCS.  

I really cannot compare the two cases, but it's difficult not to seeing that many of the key supporters of the Capobiancos are now supporters of the Hodgins and rather hard to overlook the connections when the same public relations firm that represented Veronica's kidnappers is also involved.  And also keep in mind that some of Melanie Capobianco's family and even Melanie herself have gotten involved in some way or another.  Supports have boasted that they won with Veronica and ICWA so Sonya's case was a shoe in.  There are some key differences with the two cases though, very distinct differences that really make the quest to kidnap Sonya a difficult - if not impossible - feat. 

  - Veronica's kidnapping had more political motivation than personal motivation.  There were groups that had a vested interest in the Capobiancos succeeding in kidnapping Veronica.  Those in government that wanted to chip away at Native sovereignty and an adoption industry that, for decades, was federally barred from a select group of children.  These groups needed the Capobiancos to win in order to find the chink in the armor needed to pursue their individual agendas.

  - Sonya is considered a ward of the state and when it comes to Children's Services, parental rights have more protections.  Yes, there are laws in place that allow for those protections to be weakened, but it usually comes into play when it becomes clear that reunification can never happen*.  The Hodgins, as foster parents, technically had no right to try to adopt Sonya when DCS made it clear they could not do so until DCS themselves gave the green light.  They've attempted, and continue to attempt, to apply private adoption laws to a foster care case.  Those in support of the Hodgins continue to spew a federal law that technically doesn't apply to Sonya.  They all continue to feed into the Hodgin's obsessive and delusional belief that they actually have a right to Sonya.  

This is what obsession leads to.  A drive to snatch away someone else's child at all costs.  Fueled further by those around them who push for adoption at all costs, even against the will of the child.  Obsession to take another man's child and get their chance at a "do-over".  Why should these nutters get a second chance at anything?  Why continue to allow them the opportunity to tie more garbage up in court and make the child's life miserable because they can't see beyond their own obsessive wants?

Many can claim these cases are rare, but they're not as rare as one would like to think.  Across the country, entitled and obsessive wanna-be parents are fighting to take or keep a child they've decided is theirs.  The Frei's of Utah, who fought Terry Achane for his daughter.  Even with the laws on his side, it still took two years before Achane got custody**.  The McLemore-Morris's out of Arkansas, who are still fighting to keep a child from her father, Trent Reicks, even when the law is on his side (they used their buddy judge to handle the adoption).  The kidnapper of little Hailey still has her, even after her father, Anthony Lingle, got the adoption and even a guardianship thrown out.  

Obsession derails logical thinking skills, makes wanna be adopters believe their own hype and self perceived glory.  Gives them the means and the support to do whatever is necessary to take a child from their family.  And we have a society that encourages it and even condones it when laws are broken.  We hear about it all time.  It's usually the first thing out of someone's mouth when they hear about contested adoption cases:  If the parents truly loved those kids, they would give up after a few years since the kidnappers are the only parents the kid knows.  It's sick, it's disgusting, and giving such allowances to obsessed kidnappers has to stop.  



*regarding the statement about foster care and parental rights - yes, there are cases of corruption in which parental rights are not held to the standard they should and there are numerous cases in which individual social workers, agencies and even counties work to weaken those protections immediately in an effort to fast track an adoption for federal funding.  i am completely aware of this, but as a general rule, parental rights are technically more protected in foster care cases than with private adoptions, in which there are almost NO protections.

**when Achane was given custody, the Freis originally were planning to appeal the decision.  they later dropped the appeal and have since left Achane and his daughter alone.